I've been reading about relationships lately. I've read that it is up to each couple to define the boundaries of the relationship based on what behavior is acceptable/ unacceptable. While discussing C's plans for his visit, we discovered a behavior that we disagree about: dancing. C wants to go dancing at a club with his friends without me. Am I crazy for feeling this way? C thinks the only reason I don't want him to go is because I don't trust him. I think that dancing with people who aren't your significant other, particularly when they aren't friends of the relationship, is disrespectful and inappropriate. We got into a big fight this weekend over this issue.
Dancing is flirty behavior. All but the most tame dances involve a lot of body contact. Touching someone that much without music would be considered inappropriate. Why is it suddenly ok when there is music? Let the unencumbered dance with whoever they want. People in serious relationships should stick only with each other. It only makes things worse when you consider alcohol is involved. Alcohol can easily convince hands to wander into inappropriate territory. Knowing C, he will have a lot of drinks. He tends to touch more than he should when he drinks anyway. Dancing would make it easier to go farther.
Like I said above, none of his friends are friends of the relationship. (I really like that term "friends of the relationship" by the way.) They would never stop him from cheating on me. For all I know, they would cheer him on if he cheated on me. Sometimes I wonder if he would've been better off marrying one of his friends instead of me. None of them approve of me. None of them like me.
I'm going to wrap up this post so I don't get caught on a rant of self loathing where I starting listing all my flaws. C agreed not to go dancing with them this time but he said he will dance with them in the future. Basically our argument is on hold for now. The boundaries of our relationship have not changed.
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