Sad :(

Either the stress is catching up with me or I have postpartum depression. Everything has been so overwhelming lately. I catch myself crying for stupid reasons all the time. I expect everyone to yell at me or talk to me like I'm nothing. I guess that's true though. I'm worthless. I haven't accomplished anything. My kids deserve a better mom than me. I suck as a mom. I'm always working. I'm strict. I don't have the patience to deal with G stalling before bed or A falling asleep just to wake up the moment sleep feels like a real possibility for me. I can't keep up with the laundry. I leave messes everywhere as my mother has been kind enough to point out several times this week. I can't manage money. I can't afford to move away from my parents. Even if I could, I couldn't handle raising my kids with no help. One day, when they grow up, they'll realize how useless and weak I am. They'll hate me. They'll be ashamed at what a failure I am. C will end up leaving me eventually. Who would want to stay with such a pathetic failure? I'm not even pretty. I used to think I was smart but clearly I'm not. Smart people don't get knocked up at 19. And 20. And 22. I'm so worthless. My family deserves better.