Racist Partners

In general I love my job and I'm so grateful to have it, even on busy days like today. The deadline for estimates for individuals and for entity returns is approaching fast. It seems like every time I finish one client, two more are given to me. But I enjoy my work. I enjoy being a tax accountant (if you can't tell my pride by the title of the blog...)

There was only one time I seriously thought about quitting. It was right after my first tax season. Three of us and a partner worked on these massive returns for a brand new client. It was tough work. As a reward, the partner treated us to a lunch at a nearby restaurant. I was intimidated at first because I was still an intern. Soon I was just angry.

The topic had turned to relationships. (Note: the partner and my two other coworkers are all men.) The partner had told the two guys to settle down with nice Polish girls because they would work hard to keep up the home. What!!! I'm Polish as well as a mix of many other European races and I would never make housework my priority. I would never give up my career for my husband. What a racist thing to say! Of course, both of the guys were already dating their current partners for multiple years and one would propose before the end of the year so this advice was moot anyway.

Did the partner stop there? Oh no, he did not! He went on to say that it was important to only marry someone of the same race as you. He said that people of different races were too fundamentally different to make a relationship last.

Wow. I couldn't believe he said that. I was in shock. I've never heard anyone be so blatantly racist before. This was a partner! This is a person who is supposed to represent the entire company! He said that in public to someone who is not a racist like him. If I was a client, I would never have done business with him after that! Like I said earlier, this was the only time I've ever wanted to quit my company. I went home and I cried. A's dad (who I was seeing at the time) was at work so I went to C to talk about this. C comforted me and talked me out of quitting.

I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood. I've had friends of all different colors. For most of my life, I didn't think twice about this. In my naivete, I had honestly thought that racism was over with. It took until college for me to realize how privileged my childhood was to be surrounded by such diversity. My college was about 99% white. I had never been in a situation like this before college. It was strange.

For the record, I took the partner's comment about relationship between different races extremely personally. Both C and A's bio dad are Mexican. G and A are half Mexican and half mix-of-most-of-Europe. My relationship will not fail because of race. I firmly believe my relationship will not fail at all.